RULES & REGULATIONS: Some Expectation Setting
Nothing gets a law student hot under the collar like "rules" and "regulations."
I think it would be best to establish some internet boundaries around this new-fangled online book club. Think of it as a bland, overwrought “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” knock-off. Except no one is, or has plans to become, pregnant.
The Ratings: Stars
I rate books on Goodreads using their five-star system. Because I have an undying and compulsive need to be unique, I’ve slightly modified it as follows:
Five Stars (Goodreads: “It was amazing”)
If I give a book five stars it is for one of two reasons: (1) it moved me so deeply that I believe it permanently altered my brain chemistry; or (2) the writing is so phenomenal that it permanently altered my brain chemistry. If it is both, well, these are special. They are archival and remain hermetically sealed in the Library of Mack. I do not loan out these truest of five star books to friends, lovers, enemies, or the Pope. I buy you your own copy and you get your mitts off mine, okay?
I, however, contain multitudes. There are plenty of books that moved me deeply that, with better (or more) therapy, wouldn’t have. Shrug.
Four Stars (Goodreads: “I really liked it”)
If I give a book four stars it’s because, probably, the writing took away from the narrative enough that the author’s intent to provoke emotion within me failed at least once. Island of the World by Michael O’Brien is a perfect example of a four star book for me. (Begrudgingly, I admit that it is a near perfect piece of Catholic fiction.)
I like to believe myself benevolent and generous. Therefore, most books will receive four stars from me. (In an immediate cross-check, my Goodreads average is 3.82 stars. I am Mackenzie, Destroyer of Dreams, apparently.)
Three Stars (Goodreads: “I liked it”)
If I give a book three stars, it is evidence that I enjoyed myself, will probably not revisit the text, and will recommend it to people based on their tastes.
Please note, I have introduced people to their favorite books this way. I do not begrudge a book for receiving three stars. I’m not that mean food critic in Ratatouille.
Two Stars (Goodreads: “It was ok”)
If I give a book two stars, something is wrong. Very likely, I began to skim the work because the plot was not engaging, the characters were unbelievable, or the characters have chosen something so out of pocket that I just couldn’t engage with them anymore.
Exemplars of two star fiction: Twilight, A Court of Thorns and Roses, etc. I enjoyed these reads, but please, please, please do not tell me that they are literature. Nope.
One Star (Goodreads: “I did not like it”)
If I give a book one star, something has unlocked within me. I think, for whatever reason, the work is bad. Hear me when I say this: The author is not (necessarily) bad. The work is bad. Something in the work - character, plot, a mixture of the two - offends me personally because it (a) defies logic, (b) endangers vulnerable individuals, or (c) glorifies problematic behavior.
Exemplary one star fiction: It Ends With Us, A Court of Wings and Ruin, Redeeming Love, Verity, Midnight Sun, etc. Some non-fiction examples include Total Money Makeover and 12 Rules for Life.
The Ratings: Content Warnings
Throughout my reviews, I will typically assign something a movie-style rating. I don’t work with children, nor do I personally know any that are currently literate. Therefore the “parental guidance” is for you, dear reader. If you read my review and determine that you should not read a book for x, y, or z reason, please do not. You are in charge of your own peace and happiness. I am deeply uninterested in holding any responsibility for which books you choose to pick up and read.
That being said, I personally believe that we have become a society that has forgotten the value of mystery and wonder. Often, people want to read something that is pure “insert tab A into slot B" type instruction manuals. (If that is your cup of tea, please know immediately that this may not be your book review newsletter. “Spice” aside, I cannot read most of the BookTok books without laughing aloud at the terrible sentence construction.) Conversely, many people I know will not engage in with some of the greatest works of the human mind because a grown adult is sexually aroused by another grown adult. (The horrors of properly functioning sexual organs!)
There must be some middle ground.
So, with my content warnings/ratings, know that I went to public high school, attended an American university, and worked as a server in a restaurant with a bar that served liquor. If a modern sixteen-year-old is likely to hear it at school (or on TikTok) then it’s presumably going to get a PG16 rating from me, etc. Proceed cautiously, equipped with context.
Subjectivity of Opinion
As a parting note, remember that this endeavor is all entirely subjective. It is my opinion about a book - often one that touching on a topic that is fictional. As we traverse the worlds together, remember that we contain multitudes. (I am overquoting Whitman and I have absolutely zero regret.) There are many works of fiction that I personally distaste that you adore. Fantastic! Engage with me in the comments. I have not come to my opinion lightly. I’ve pondered it meticulously, for an embarrassing amount of time. I can handle some push back.
A final thought: I, on principle, do not waste breath using an author’s work to criticize their personal life. I engage with the work itself and draw my line there. There is too little time and too many books to read to waste time trying to do otherwise. After all, stories belong to readers.
Clear as mud? Delightful. Welcome to the club.